


like regret in the air

by virdant



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Flying, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28240029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virdant/pseuds/virdant
Summary: Obi-Wan loved flying, once.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	like regret in the air

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidNightTiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidNightTiger/gifts).



> holiday fic for Mid! Thank you, Mid, for being such a joy. I'm so glad I got to meet you during these quarantine times!

Obi-Wan dislikes flying.

It’s not as strong as hate, and it’s not as ambivalent as does not like. It is a dislike, a brief flicker of irritation, and sigh of reluctance, an inertia that he overcomes, over and over, every time he straps himself into a ship, into a speeder, into the pilot seat. When he spreads his hands across the controls, it is not with joy, but with responsibility.

He loved flying, once. Loved the freedom it gave him. Loved how it put him in control of his movement. There was something freeing about being able to set his own path, to weave through space, to dart through asteroid fields as if dancing.

He loved flying, once.

He watches Anakin fly, sometimes. Watches the death-defying antics, the stunts and the flips. Anakin flips his starfighter into a barrel roll for the sheer joy of it, and the reminder is stark.

The Force can do many things. It gives them heightened reflexes and a taste of presience that can be explained as instinct. It allows them to fly through space, weaving through asteroids, calculating hyperspace jumps with nothing but the guiding influence of the Force. It lets them—

It lets them fly better, but it does not let them fly.

Once, Obi-Wan flew. He flew through the air in leaps and flips. He sommersaulted and flung himself, as if running on air. The Force gave him that: let him leap higher, let him float forward as if on air, let him run, from tree branch to tree branch, in long dizzying bursts of flight. He flew, when he practiced the leaps and flips of the Ataru katas, when he played tag in the treetops of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, when he was young.

Obi-Wan does not fly, anymore.

When he feels the wind against his face, he thinks only the last day that he flew. He is standing in a reactor room in Theed, of the warmth of the furnace as he flipped over Qui-Gon, as he was too slow, as he faltered. He thinks of what it was like, leaping from where he fell, a brief moment of soaring, the joy of flight soured by grief and despair. He remembers, every time, in bright detail.

He will not forget. He will move on. He will let go. He will not let Qui-Gon’s death haunt his footsteps.

But he will not fly anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> mid asked for obi-wan & bittersweet or obi-wan & flying and I have done my best to combine both prompts :)
> 
> \--
> 
> here's how you can find me.
> 
>   * asian jedi agenda, my new writing discord (pls ask for link)
>   * Follow me on twitter [@virdant](http://www.twitter.com/virdant/)
>   * Comment and kudo below
> 



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